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Role and Responsibilities
Duties that will be required of you in this role:
- Chef - you will be responsible for all buying, preparing and cooking of meals, and at times aiding to feed your patient, as well as the dish washing afterwards. Please note that balanced and nutritional food served would be in the interest of health going forward. Hydration is very important, this can create health issues if too much or not enough given throughout the day
- Hairdressing - you will be required to wash, dry and perhaps cut hair
- Chiropodist - you will be required to maintain feet health and cut nails as required
- Personal dresser - you will be required to prepare clothing as well as purchasing as required and assist, again if required with dressing. Please note you may have to change the patients clothing a number of times a day as required
- General domestic duties: these will include all house cleaning, hoovering, bed changing (perhaps daily or as required) washing of clothes and bedding, ironing, and food shopping, bill paying as required
- Financial advisor: a good sound knowledge of finances are required, you may well have to be power of attorney on financial as well as medical decisions for your patient, both very responsible and important activities
- Pharmacist/Medication: part of your role will be to administer mediacation that is required up to 4 times a day, you will also have to enquire or read body language and spot distress signs to ascertain if additional pain relief is required, you will learn more of this whilst in the role. Please note, you will also have to identify when medical intervention is required even when there is no verbal communication of this nature with your patient
- Chauffeur: if you drive, it will be expected in this role that you will be required to drive your patient to all shopping trips out-with the home, also any medical appointments and activities or entertainment. Please be advised, there will be no fuel payments or mileage costs added to your salary for this part of your role, and in fact you may have to provide your own car if patient does not have DSS benefits to cover this cost. Please note you can apply for a blue badge to ensure easier parking, this again will require a many page document to be completed, and perhaps even an in person assessment
Qualifications & Abilities Required:
It is essential that you are able to multi task and maintain a calm exterior whilst dealing with stressful situations
It would be helpful, but not essential that you have some legal training to help you navigate the vast documentation and difficult telephone calls that you will encounter on a regular basis
Some basic medical training, again not essential, but will aid you to spot quickly if there are any of the following arising: infections, deliriums, pressure sores, and maintain a check on all pre-existing illnesses for changes that your patient may not be able to express to you
A good attention to detail is required, you will spend a lot of time searching for missing items and looking out for changes in behavior. being a quick learner is imperative, you will be exposed to new and ever changing situations on a regular basis, some research into the condition may assist you to prepare with what needs to happens next to preempt for changes in care and medical attention going forward
Preferred skills:
Please be aware, the ability to have a social life whilst in this role is limited, as is holidays away from home. You will have to prioritise your caring role and change your plans at short notice and learn to accept social isolation
You may also suffer from lack of confidence, anxiety and/or depression, but must still be able to maintain the care level required for your patient’s wellbeing. Some basic coping strategies in stress and distress management and mind-fullness will be invaluable
A strong communication skill and inner strength to ensure your voice and opinion will be heard would aid you immeasurably to cope when dealing with nurses, doctors, social workers, benefits agencies and a number of other situations that you will encounter
You will have to be prepared to wash, bathe and maintain personal hygiene for your patient, this may include handling incontinence issues throughout the day
They may get angry and frustrated or very sad, they may wander out alone and get lost or get distressed very suddenly, perhaps even violent. Please note this is a very normal day to day event, you will build an inner strength and coping strategy for this. Do be aware though, that you will need to determine from time to time between this and a delirium which may indicate an infection and requires medical intervention, this is the point when you have to use your judgement and perhaps activate the medical power of attorney powers wisely, you will learn on the job!
Finally, this role requires dedication, love, patience, and a willingness to be adaptable to any unforeseen circumstances. You will without a doubt find this role emotionally and physically demanding and draining, you will feel broken and lost when it’s ended, as well as the living grief at different steps of your patient’s illness as it progresses.
The rewards of this role are immeasurable, you will do this for and out of love, the good days will heavily outweigh the bad ones, and you will look back when this role ends with love, pride and a knowledge that you did your very best for your loved one, and although they couldn't always find the words, they knew exactly what this role entailed you giving up for them without a second thought at a time in their life that they needed you most, and more importantly they felt loved and safe
Additional Notes
Please be aware, the ability to have a social life whilst in this role is limited, as is holidays away from home. You will have to prioritise your caring role and change your plans at short notice and learn to accept social isolation
You may also suffer from lack of confidence, anxiety and/or depression, but must still be able to maintain the care level required for your patient’s wellbeing. Some basic coping strategies in stress and distress management and mind-fullness will be invaluable
A strong communication skill and inner strength to ensure your voice and opinion will be heard would aid you immeasurably to cope when dealing with nurses, doctors, social workers, benefits agencies and a number of other situations that you will encounter
You will have to be prepared to wash, bathe and maintain personal hygiene for your patient, this may include handling incontinence issues throughout the day
Your patient may get angry and frustrated or very sad, they may wander out alone and get lost or get distressed very suddenly, perhaps even violent. Please note this is a very normal day to day event, you will build an inner strength and coping strategy for this. Do be aware though, that you will need to determine from time to time between this and a delirium which may indicate an infection and requires medical intervention, this is the point when you have to use your judgement and perhaps activate the medical power of attorney powers wisely, you will learn on the job!
Finally, this role requires dedication, love, patience, and a willingness to be adaptable to any unforeseen circumstances. You will without a doubt find this role emotionally and physically demanding and draining, you will feel broken and lost when its ended, as well as the living grief at different steps of your patients illness as it progresses.
The rewards of this role are immeasurable, you will do this for and out of love, the good days will heavily outweigh the bad ones, and you will look back when this role ends with love, pride and a knowledge that you did your very best for your loved one, and although they couldn't always find the words, they knew exactly what this role entailed you giving up for them without a second thought at a time in their life they needed you most, and more importantly they felt loved and safe.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
There isn't a low enough salary that we could be offered that would stop us being home dementia carers, please note this caring role doesn't end when our loved ones perhaps have to go into a care facility or hospital, it just changes for us, but we hope the government will think about the financial, emotional, physical and broken mental health of the carers that give all of ourselves, our careers, our friends and family as well as years of our lives that we can never buy back. We give all this freely to love our family member or spouses, and be their support system for as long as they need us. Government, please make this role, as well all other carers, not only for the dementia patient a priority for attention, understanding our difficulties and look at a fair carers allowance and better support systems to enable us to do this role without the daily battles to get what we and our loved ones are entitled too, and require to carry on caring. There are almost 7 million carers in the UK, every one of these carers are saving the government billions of pounds annually, it is certainly food for thought.
Please hear us, please help us!
Copyright Anne Irvine 2023
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